Say Goodnight, Not Good-Bye

I have this thing. In fact I have lots of these ‘things’ but it was this particular one that resurfaced at my Uncle Des’ funeral yesterday. I must go to sleep, exit a phone-call, or farewell a friend or family member with a see you soon, later gator or goodnight and definitely not a goodbye. The latter has an eerie finality about it that doesn’t sit comfortably with me.

I’m not a seasoned funeral attendee and still cannot believe what has transpired in the last two weeks. My healthy, fit and dry-witted uncle who was living ‘the dream’ with his newly built home in Inverloch had a massive stroke. Sixty seven years young. Of all the uncles he was the least likely to be resting in a casket. Tragically he is and I had to watch his gorgeous wife and beautiful four daughters weep with sorrow and say goodbye…or was it goodnight?

I didn’t hear the lyrics incorrectly. The song sung by Beth Nielson Chapman, written after her own terminally ill husband passed on, said exactly the thing I insisted on, “Say Goodnight, Not Goodbye.”

Say goodnight not good-bye

You will never leave my heart behind

Like the path of a star

I’ll be anywhere you are

In the spark that lies beneath the coals

In the secret place inside your soul

Keep my light in your eyes

Say goodnight not good-bye

Don’t you fear when you dream

Waking up is never what it seems

Like a jewel buried deep

Like a promise meant to keep

You are everything you want to be

So just let your heart reach out to me

I’ll be right by your side

Say goodnight not good-bye*

Nothing can bring back the physical when life is spent, but the spirit is sleeping and will never leave loved ones. Small but comforting words.

In these tender words of my sweet cousin Kim** “despite the difficulties, despite the tears, we laughed, we remembered, we rejoiced in what was truly an inspirational life…his words still linger, his opinion is still known. 

Even though we knew him, we now know him so much better because we have all come together to share our stories, through the blog, through the eulogy, through the pictures, and through the memories.”

My dear cousin Jane’s blog was one of the most moving things I have ever read and even a stranger that didn’t know Des would have felt his family’s suffering and ultimate love that just said goodnight…for now

* Beth Nielson Chapman – lyrics to Say Goodnight from the album Sand and Water

**Comment left at www.desmeagher.weebly.com written by Jane Meagher (daughter of Des)